StoryCorps Story Archives - West Virginia Public Broadcasting

Sharing The Love Of A Father For His Daughter

Thomas Burger was a stay-at-home dad during the 1970s. Back then, only two percent of fathers stayed home with the kids. He said people often seemed confused when he told them he was a stay-at-home dad.

Forty years later, the number of stay-at-home dads has climbed to four percent. A Pew Research Center survey from 2013 found that eight percent of people in the U.S. said children are better off if their father is home and doesn’t work. More than half think kids are better off if mom stays home.

In 2018, Burger sat down with his daughter, Renee Frymyer, inside the Storycorps recording bus in Charleston West Virginia and told her what it was like.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity.

Burger: I remember the first time I held you. And I can remember I saw your eyes. I didn’t want to scare you. In fact I thought, it’s a good thing babies can’t bring everything into focus because it’s so different out here than it is in the womb. I remember saying, ‘I hope you’re never afraid when I’m around.’ Anyway, I do remember that. But your birth was a big moment in our lives.

I took a year off to be a full-time father, an at-home dad from the time you were a one-and-a-half to two-and-a-half. Lots of good times during those years. Your mom was teaching school; we had moved to Milford, Delaware so she could teach school and support us while we did this so-called experiment.

Frymyer: At the time, this was 1978, ‘79 and there weren’t a lot of full time stay at home dads.

Burger: There weren’t. Well, not at all in our circle. We were always active in church, in the United Methodist Church, and we joined a church there. I remember taking you to bible study, and there were women with their kids around the circle and here’s me with you. People would ask me, ‘What are you doing?’ and I said, ‘I’m a full-time, at-home father.’ People couldn’t quite understand that. I often joke that they said, ‘Okay, what are you really doing here? Do you have some kind of terminal illness and you’re just kind of waiting? What are you doing? Nobody just stays home.’

Well, I learned later that lots of fathers who are out of work, they’re taking care of their kids at home. There are lots of circumstances where many men, fathers, would stay at home and take care of their children. I certainly wasn’t a pioneer or the only one. But I wanted to experience fatherhood. I wanted to show your mom that I was committed to raising you. It wasn’t just her job. And it was a real blessing.

I remember I had a bike and we had a little baby carrier in the back, not baby but a toddler carrier. It was a seat and we buckled you in. It’s not like today where everything’s surrounding you and you’re wearing a hard hat and everything else. The only thing you had on your head was a little wool woven beanie, no matter where we went.

We would go grocery shopping. I had baskets, wire baskets on the back there just below your feet, where I put the groceries on the way home. And we were pedaling through the parking lot and a couple little ladies in a car drove by and said, ‘Look, look, look, look,’ I said ‘What?’ I turned around and you had gotten the carton of eggs and opened it. [You] just watched them roll out onto the pavement. Plop, plop, plop, there are eggs on the pavement.

You and I took a little walk down to the local pond that was not far from the apartment there. And I told you that [it was] steep there, you might roll into the pond. Well, you wanted to see the pond up close. So you kind of toddled over there and sure enough, headfirst right into this fishy, dirty old pond.

I picked you up, I don’t remember if you cried or not, but I picked you up and hurried back to the apartment. Your mom was right by the door sitting at her desk grading papers or doing some teacher thing. And she said, ‘Oh, what’s that smell?’ I said ‘That’s fish. Your daughter fell in the pond.’ Anyway, we got you cleaned up and we moved on. We had a wonderful year, I thought.

Bob Thompson and Larry Groce: In the StoryCorps Booth

West Virginia Music Hall-of-Famer Bob Thompson moved to West Virginia from New York City almost 60 years ago. He came to the Mountain State to attend college at what is now West Virginia State University. He met adversity, fell in love, grew with his music and learned about the people of West Virginia.

Bob and his friend Larry Groce, the host and artistic director of West Virginia Public Broadcasting’s nationally distributed music show Mountain Stage, talk about moving from the Big Apple to Charleston, West Virginia — and about why he stayed. Their conversation was recorded in the mobile StoryCorps booth, which was in Charleston West Virginia in fall 2018.

More StoryCorps: The Great Thanksgiving Listen

In September StoryCorps came to Charleston, WV to record scores of oral history stories. Those who particpated shared stories of their lives with each other, they were recorded and preserved for the National Archives in the Library of Congress. Over the next few months we will be sharing some of those stories over the air and on our web page.

Stories are an essential part of history. To encourage families to record the stories of their own history, StoryCorps launched a program in 2015 called The Great Thanksgiving Listen. The Great Thanksgiving Listen was developed for high school students to interview an elder and contribute their voices to the Library of Congress, but anyone with a smartphone and an interest in storytelling can participate. We actively encourage people of all ages to download the free StoryCorps App. Use it to create your own unique oral history with an elder or loved one in your life.

If you missed out on the September visit, the good news is that you still have an opportunity to take some time and have a conversation with someone you love. There’s an app for that! StoryCorps App

The app takes the StoryCorps experience out of the booth and puts it entirely in the hands of users, enabling anyone, anywhere to record conversations with another person and then easily archive them at the Library of Congress and on our website. Since its debut, nearly a quarter-million people have taken part in an interview using the Storycorps App.

And, if you are not sure how to start that conversation or what kind of questions to ask.; if you are interested in having a classroom of students record oral histories there are plenty of free resources on the webpage to walk you through this exercise. It isn’t too hard, it starts with two people sitting down and asking a question.

'The Water is a Great Medium for Women' – Longtime Friends and W.Va. River Guides on StoryCorps

Longtime friends Elizabeth Dinkins, 45, and Kathy Zerkle, 57, visited the StoryCorps Airstream in Charleston earlier this fall to talk about their work as women river guides, the rafting community in West Virginia and how the river has influenced them.

“On the outside it appears that it’s a really physical job, and to some extent it is, but I think the water is a great medium for women to work within because it’s very subtle” said Zerkle, a river ranger and emergency medical coordinator at the New River Gorge National River.

While Dinkins has left the rafting industry, and is the interim dean of the school of education at Bellarmine University in Louisville, Kentucky, the two friends noted the call of the river is a heady one.

“In some ways the river is the Thanksgiving table we’re all called to,” Dinkins said.

Their conversation was recorded by the mobile StoryCorps booth during its recent stop in Charleston, West Virginia. Their interview will be housed at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C.

StoryCorps Came, Listened and Got Some Great Stories

The StoryCorps MobileBooth just departed Charleston and is headed to its next destination in Athens, Georgia. Fortunately, the StoryCorps team left behind a sizeable collection of great stories for WVPB to share with audiences.

For a terrific sampling of the voices of Charleston, West Virginia, click the link below to hear a montage of interview excerpts prepared by StoryCorps facilitator Jacqueline Van Meter for a special listening party at the Clay Center for the Arts and Sciences in early October.

Van Meter featured the following people in the montage: Bettijane Burger with daughter Renee Frymyer; William Laird with sons Liam and Conrad; Brothers Lorenzo and Miguel Caranungan; Covenant House colleagues Ellen Allen and Phil Hainen; Cousins Donteako “Don” Wilson and Dural Miller; Andre Leo Linsky with wife Maggie Linsky; Elizabeth Dinkins with friend and fellow river guide Kathy Zerkle; Paul Lauer with daughter Kate Lauer; friends Tim Albee and Danny McNeely; and Henry “Mac” M. McLeod with daughter Margaret McLeod Leef.

Tune in to our Inside Appalachia broadcast or podcast, watch our social media accounts and check out storycorps.org in the coming months to hear more great stories from a diverse group of West Virginians who talked of life and death, love and loss, family and friends, as well as challenges and triumphs during their StoryCorps recording sessions.

'Music Brought All Kinds of People Together' – Jazz Musician Bob Thompson on StoryCorps

StoryCorps recently visited Charleston, West Virginia to help over 100 people record their stories. One of the conversations recorded was between Mountain Stage Host Larry Groce and jazz musician Bob Thompson. Thompson grew up in New York City, but moved to West Virginia in the 60s to attend college at West Virginia State.

Since 1991, Bob Thompson has played piano on Mountain Stage. In October 2015, Bob Thompson was inducted into the West Virginia Music Hall of Fame.

Bob makes his home in Charleston, West Virginia and has enjoyed a long and active career as a performer, composer, arranger, and educator.

When he arrived by bus to Charleston for the first time in 1960, he faced one incident of racial discrimination. He asked to eat lunch at a business called the Chuck Wagon, and they told him they could serve him, but he couldn’t eat it in the restaurant; he had to take his food and eat it outside.

From there, he said his experience in West Virginia was much better, and at West Virginia State University he met great mentors, who taught him to play music, both in and out of the classroom. At that time, there was a place in Charleston that used to be called the Triangle District, where many African-American owned businesses and nightclubs once thrived. “It was a very vibrant community,” said Thompson.

One night, a professor took him to an after-hours club called, The Crazy Horse, which was on the West Side of Charleston. “There were jam sessions there that went on all night.” Local musicians played with musicians who came through town. “So there was a constant flow of great players. As always, music brought all kinds of people together. You know, young, old, black, white. And that was what was great about it. Plus the willingness of everyone to help you. There was a piano player. And if I thought I knew a song I’d say, ‘can I sit in?’ He’d stand beside me and call out the chord changes to me. And when he felt like I had it he’d say ‘ok kid you got it,’ and he’d go sit down.”

“At that time, liquor by the drink was illegal in West Virginia. It was actually a big house, and there was a big gate, and you went up and you rang the buzzer. Somebody looked out of a window upstairs, and then they buzzed you in. And the club was on the second floor.”

Thompson recalls the music scene in Charleston drastically changed when many of these after-hours clubs were closed down. Many of the businesses in the Triangle District were replaced by urban development in the 1960s and 70s. “But a lot of us just moved into the other clubs. So it was always fun. The thing about it is that the musicians, both black and white, all played together. You know, in other cities I know they had separate musicians unions. But not in Charleston. Musicians were always together. I took it for granted until I saw what was happening in other places.”

Eventually, Thompson decided to stay in West Virginia, instead of returning permanently to New York City. “I was kind of torn, in-between. I liked it here.”

He said the thing that really convinced him to stay was the people. “The friendliness of people, the openness of people. You know, when I first came here, I would walk down Capitol Street, and somebody would pass me and say ‘Hi’. And I was like, ok, what kind of game is this? We didn’t have this in New York. What’s ‘Hi’?”

Thompson recalled another story when he was playing at a ski resort in West Virginia. “And I had a problem with my vehicle. And I drove into Elkins, and I drove into this garage. And I went into Red Stalnaker’s Garage, and he told me what the problem was, and at that time I had this credit card. And he said, ‘I’m sorry, I’m not set up to accept that.’ And I didn’t have a checkbook or anything, so I started out the door. And he came out and got me and said, ‘Hey, but I’ll fix your truck.’ And he fixed it and said, ‘wherever you get where you’re going, send me a check. Now, he didn’t ask my name, where I was from, where I was going, nothing. Just ‘wherever you get where you’re going, send me a check.’”