Like many others, I’m distressed and angry about the chemical leak that fouled my city’s water supply and turned off the taps for three hundred thousand taxpayers. But I can’t sustain my outrage without a dose of laughter now and then. And it occurs to me that Charleston may want to consider looking for a niche in the extreme tourism market. So, with the help of my co-writer and accompanist, George Castelle, I’ve put my thoughts into a song:
Charleston—the town inimical
Hip, historic, cool and chemical
Yes, there’s sludge, and it could spill
So if you’re looking for a thrill…it’s
Charleston—we’re excellente
Whole place smells like Good n’ Plenty
You’ll get accustomed to the stink here
Just don’t shower, eat or drink here
Flush your pipes and flush your hoses
Close your eyes and hold your noses
Flush your drain and flush your sink
Now fill your glass…let’s have a drink
Charleston’s a real big time
Come on in, the water’s fine
It’s a dandy place for a holiday
Unless you work for the E.P.A.
Methyl cyclo hexane methanol
May not even kill us after all
But downstream they’re goin’ batty
It’s on its way to Cincinnati…from
Charleston—there’s no place hotter
Better bring some bottled water
Climb our mountains, if you care to
Y’all come back, now, if you dare to